The Little Engine That Went to Rehab
Once upon a time, there was a Little Engine. The Little Engine tried to get over a steep hill, but it was too difficult for him. So the Little Engine entered a twelve-step program, and he learned that the first step toward getting over any steep hill is to admit to yourself that you can't do it. So the Little Engine sat at the bottom of the hill, repeating out loud: "I KNOW I CAN'T. I KNOW I CAN'T. I KNOW I CAN'T. I KNOW I CAN'T." And he successfully did not get over the hill. The next step toward getting over the hill was to turn himself over to a higher power. All the other engines in rehab had questions: "I'm an Atheist, and don't believe in a higher power," said one engine. "I'm a Deist, and I don't believe in divine intervention," said another. "We're all Catholics, Protestants, Buddhists, Jews, Hindus, Muslims, Wiccans, Shintoists, Rastafarians and Baha'is, and we all believe in free will,...